What Do You Do When the Going Gets Rough?

Me? Sometimes I quit. I have many unfinished projects, some nutrition-related, some not. For example, I have at least 20 unfinished blog post drafts. True story. Yes, that’s what NOT to do when the going gets rough.

School has started, so life with my three girls has become more challenging during the past two weeks. I haven’t been blogging much, I haven’t been meal planning much, and I haven’t been doing much to complete my personal projects. Can you relate?

Of course, sometimes life also gives you extra “lemons” during these already challenging times: another flat tire and a dog accident on my Persian rug. Yeah…there’s never a good time for either of those.

I thought it was just me, but failing to finish projects is a common problem.  I know this because there’s a book about it.  Today I just received a pre-ordered copy of the new book, Finish: Give Yourself the Gift of Done, by Jon Acuff. It sounds so promising! I’m so grateful he finally finished the book. Stay tuned, if I finish it, I’ll let you know if the strategies are indeed life-changing.

I think it’s interesting and important to note, though, that I take commitments very seriously and will go to great lengths to not inconvenience or quit on anyone else. I work in a field that revolves around deadlines. No problem–I’m on time or early! But chaos or not, I often quit on myself. I tell myself it’s prioritizing, that my children are more important, or that anything for myself can wait. But if I’m honest, it’s also because I have a fear of failing, which I’ve learned is quite common among perfectionists.

It’s also common among people with a fixed mindset, according to the fantastic book Mindset, by Carol Dweck. I highly recommend it, for yourself and especially if you have children. (After all, your mindset shapes their mindset.) Most importantly, with a growth mindset you believe you have the power to learn and grow more through challenges and perseverence. And failure is an important part of that growth.  A growth mindset is far more helpful in life than a fixed mindset, which essentially focuses on quitting when the going gets rough, because you just aren’t ____ enough. Fill in the blank, you big loser.

Those who know me might find it hard to believe I’m a perfectionist–my house gets cluttered often, I mess up meals sometimes, and I never remember everything I need to. But often on the inside, and sometimes on the outside, I have been known to verbally beat myself up. And then I must add “sweating the small stuff” to my growing mental list of faults…

Yes, I do realize everyone makes mistakes. And when I make them, I can even verbalize “everyone makes mistakes.” But it takes a conscious effort to believe it to your core when attempting a new challenge and seeing it through to the end.

My point: we are all works-in-progress. We all fail. But when was the last time you tried so hard you fully failed? Chances are, if you’re trying that hard, you won’t fail. But even if you do, there’s growth in that. So, frankly, I’m done holding myself back to prevent failure. Are you with me?

We all know building healthy habits (food-related or otherwise) is not easy. That’s why New Year’s resolutions fail more often than not. But the reality is we can all learn more through challenges and perseverance, and especially through failures. So, we keep trying. But we must seek better strategies to complete our personal goals and find more balance in our lives.

Maybe you are striving to improve your eating habits and want to try a new approach. (You’re in the right place!) Or like me, you could be striving to stop sacrificing yourself too much for your kids so they see you as an accomplished, well-rounded individual. Whatever your personal goals, go big or go home!

So, here’s to challenging ourselves in this new school year (parents and students alike) to finish–or even fully fail–more of our important personal goals we set! I figure it makes sense to start with the book, Finish.